Lee Taeyong and My Journey of Self-Finding
#HAPPYTAEYONGDAY — July 1, 2021
Happy birthday to Taeyong! Because today is his birthday, I’m writing an article about why I admire him so much!
I’m back to k-pop after being absent for about six years. Well, not completely absent, but I never had a deep fangirling life for those six years. I thought I’ve lost my sense of fangirling as I get older, but I was wrong. My fangirling life is just begun, right after I met Lee Taeyong.
The biggest reason why I stan Taeyong is… I feel so connected to him, like… I see myself in him! Sounds crazy? Well, maybe not really, wkwkwkwk, but this whole article will tell the detail of how this fangirling life had affected me positively. Thanks to him.
What brings my curiosity towards him was the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). I was an INFJ back then, and I’m kind of obsessed with MBTI since I was in high school. So, I can’t stop my mind to analyze what type my friends might be, my teachers might be, and finally, the idols might be. Taeyong was the first idol I guess, and I strongly thought he was also an INFJ. Why? Because he undoubtedly seemed like an introvert. He was very kind to all members like he had a high Fe (extraverted feeling cognitive function).
I confirmed my guess from a surf through YouTube and found a video of NCT members’ MBTI analysis. There, I found Taeyong as an INFJ too! And from Tumblr, he was INFJ too! I got so excited and I followed him further. I feel amazed because we were INFJ, but he didn’t had the insecurities I had. And he is a dancer! His behavior also revealed that he has a developed Se, which is the inferior function of INFJ. I have a problem of developing Se, so… following Taeyong gave me a pict of how I should use my Se.
His room seems like a museum. He has a high-ceiling cabinet. He is an ace member but all NCT members love him without getting envy. He is also a writer, songwriter. There, there, there. He surprised me by having all things I called dream!
I search for another MBTI analysis and they said Taeyong was an ISFP. Really? I thought ISFP and INFJ are so different. If he’s an ISFP, then what am I?
I searched through YouTube again, and watched a video of how NCT managers were rude, to keep them in their “image.” Not only but also, TAEYONG IS A HERO TO TACKLE THAT RUDENESS! I never feel so proud of having an idol like him. Cry.
Some members had revealed their MBTI test result, but in one of his vlive, Taeyong said he didn’t want to take the test. Too many questions. Well, I’m glad because I still couldn’t accept if he were another else. It’s just better if I didn’t know at all.
Right then, a friend of mine (a high school friend) asked me to take the test once more, to see if there was any difference with our results in high school.
Do you know what I got? I got INFP. What? I used to believe INFJ and INFP are so different. How can I be both? I searched and I searched until I found… what is the difference between Fe and Fi.
Ah, this had become a light bulb in my mind… Taeyong… is clearly an Fi user. A mature Fi user. His kindness towards the members is a representation of Fi, not Fe. He has ideal morals and values, he wants everyone in this world to be happy, which happened to be my dream too.
WHICH MEANS… I MIGHT BE AN FI USER TOO. So… my INFP result is true. I’m actually an INFP, not an INFJ. How can I miss this for… how long? A very long time? It took over 20 years to make myself finally reached out!
Ah, okay, it’s clear now why the fans type him as ISFP. He is an Fi-dom user. It’s true if I sense he has a high Se. He has it in number two.
Being the same Fi-dom user as my personality (INFP), Taeyong gives me an obvious portrait of how to be mature and immature in a correct amount. Just like what I’ve imagined as “balance,” which I used to believe as “impossible.”
Taeyong strengthens me to be myself. Being an INFP-T (yes, I had that turbulent personality), I tend to go with the flow and neglect things I want, just to calm down my insecurities.
I learn to embrace my weakness. I learn to see my strength (which I used to consider as just so-so, I don’t know if it’s actually a “strength”). I don’t feel like I’m weird anymore because someone like Taeyong exists in this world, and we are alike :)
I also search for how to have nice leadership skills. But, being a “leader” has a different meaning from people to people. Since Taeyong is a leader of 23 NCT members, I learn that he is a subtle leader. He enlightens me on the leadership type I want to develop.
And also, he asks questions! Yeah. I used to say to my friends to tell me all they want because I’m not good at asking questions. I don’t know if my question will hurt people, and I’m afraid. Taeyong always asks a simple questions and he listens to the answers respectfully.
He said that he chose this job (as an idol) because he wanted to give hope to teenagers, give support to each other, be a role model to them. That’s what I ask from an idol. Cry. He fits so much.
“I want my father to be happy. I want my mother to be happy. I want my sister to be happy. I want that lady to be happy. I want that person to be happy. It seems like I long for happiness. But now I’m happy because many people say they’re happy because of me.”
“A dream I continue to dream is I want everyone in this world to be happy.”
“The reason I write a song to be listened to by one specific person is that I want that person to be happy, as it may be the one that makes him/her stay strong in this world. And also, I believe that fans resemble the idol (I’m sorry if you feel uncomfortable about this) but yeah I need to be more reliable to show it to you.”
I want to be such a hard-working, kind, and successful person like him.
